You give a friend a book for their birthday, and nobody then asks for a report on its social benefit. With a larger sum of money, the conversation shifts remarkably quickly. Suddenly the question hangs in the air of what good cause it is meant to serve. People want to know whom the money helps, what it will improve, and whether there isn't someone else who needs it more.
Those are understandable questions. When a lot of money is involved, you ought to think about the consequences. What strikes me is just how quickly a consideration turns into an unspoken duty: if you give money away voluntarily, you're supposed to do something especially good with it, thank you very much. Ideally with measurable impact and a nice glossy annual report.
I have nothing against annual reports. I just think we should keep two things apart: the value of a charitable donation, and a person's freedom to give someone something privately.
A good cause is a very good option
Anyone who supports a reputable charity can make projects possible that depend on expertise, experience and reliable structures. Medical care, education, research, disaster relief: I'm certainly not going to poke fun at any of that. In fact, I'd be genuinely delighted if Tired of Wealth prompted someone to take a closer look at a good charity.
Family doesn't deserve a place on the substitutes' bench either. Parents helping their children, siblings supporting each other, friends standing up for one another: these are obvious and often wonderful reasons to give money away. Nobody needs my permission for that. And I'm certainly not going to write an article here that tries to talk anyone out of a decision like that.
Some people see things differently, though. Some want to give to a particular person without putting a charitable organisation in between. Some connect the gift with a personal story that outsiders don't need to know. Others have no grand plan at all. They want to give something because they can and because they want to.
Incidentally, the fact that a recipient isn't in need doesn't automatically make them an unsuitable recipient of a private gift. Otherwise you'd have to ask for proof of income before every birthday. That might dampen the mood slightly when it came to unwrapping the presents.
Of course you can still ask whether the same sum might achieve more somewhere else. With charitable gifts in particular, the question of effectiveness is entirely fair. But deciding how to use your own wealth isn't solely an exercise in producing the greatest possible measurable benefit. People also make personal decisions. They are even allowed to have wishes that don't fit into any cost-benefit spreadsheet.
The curious desire for a flawless justification
Why do we always want to explain gifts, anyway? Part of the answer might be that giving has long been about more than handing over an object or a sum of money. In a theoretical paper from 1988, the economist Colin Camerer described how gifts can act as social signals. They may say something about the relationship and about the giver's intentions. That's a model of human behaviour, not a study of private gifts worth millions. But it does explain why we hardly ever see gifts as ordinary bank transfers.
With charitable donations, other motives come into play. In their 2011 literature review, René Bekkers and Pamala Wiepking identified various influences on giving, including perceived need, personal values, altruism and the wish to do something effective. It's an overview of charitable giving. It doesn't prove why any particular person might want to give their money to a private individual. Different motives are discussed in more detail in Why people give wealth away.
Even with charitable donations, the motives don't always have to be entirely selfless. Back in 1990, the economist James Andreoni developed an idea in his theory of so-called warm-glow giving that I find wonderfully human: the good feeling of having given something yourself can also be part of the motivation. His work is an economic model, not a test of individual donors' innermost intentions.
So perhaps we should stop measuring every gift of money against the purest possible intention. With a charitable donation, impact can matter; with a family gift, the bond; with a private gift, an entirely personal decision. Each form has its own role. It isn't a contest.
And then there's my unusual offer
On this website I write about how great wealth can feel, what freedoms it creates and why it can sometimes be exhausting, too. I also offer something you rarely find on an ordinary finance or charity website: if someone, of their own free will, wants to give me some of their wealth, they'll find in me, in principle, someone who would be willing to accept it.
I haven't set up a charity for this. There is no claimed medical, social or environmental purpose that I could supposedly fulfil better with a private gift than anyone else. I'd be pleased to have the money. Yes, really. I suspect that revelation won't knock anyone off their chair.
But that's exactly why I want to be open about my interest. I'm not going to explain why your daughter could make less good use of the money. I'm not going to belittle any charity. And I'm not going to tell you a story in which a transfer to me is a particularly clever way to get rid of inner unease. Anyone who is thinking along those lines needs to look at their own situation first, not at my wishes.
What I set out on the page My offer is one possibility among many. I think it's extremely unlikely myself. Still, the world is big and people are different. So I decided not just to think about my offer, but to make it visible. That's all there is to it.
Being open about my interest is, of course, no guarantee that I can be trusted. An exceptionally large gift has to be preceded by a free, well-considered decision and independent legal and tax advice. That sounds less poetic than the idea of simply giving something away, but with large sums it's indispensable.
It could also happen that someone reads my offer, has a good laugh about it and then gives money to a charity. I'd have no problem with that whatsoever. Quite the opposite. If someone ends up making a decision they genuinely stand behind, that's already a sensible outcome.
Frequently asked questions about private gifts
Can you give money away without stating any particular purpose?
A personal or charitable purpose is not, as a general rule, a requirement for every private gift. What matters, though, is the law in the country concerned. For example, Section 516 of the German Civil Code defines a gift as a gratuitous transfer that both parties agree on. That's an example from Germany, not legal information that applies worldwide.
Does the person receiving the gift have to need the money urgently?
A private gift doesn't require a recipient in need simply because it is generous. There are very good reasons to support people in need, just as there are personal reasons for a gift outside any situation of hardship. The social impact of such decisions can, of course, differ.
Is giving money to a private individual the same as making a donation?
In everyday language, the terms sometimes get mixed up. Charitable donations and private gifts can, however, be treated differently in law and especially for tax purposes. The specific rules depend, among other things, on the countries and circumstances involved. Anyone who wants to transfer larger amounts needs individual professional advice.
Do I have to justify to others why I'm giving to this particular person?
A personal justification is not the same as a legal requirement. Which declarations, evidence or formalities are needed for a particular gift depends on the rules that apply. A decision can be highly personal without that being a reason to skip the legal checks.
I don't have a final answer to what anyone should do with their money. Fortunately, I don't need to know. It's enough for me to name the differences honestly. A good cause stays good, even when another option exists alongside it.
And if, after reading this, you decide simply to keep your money, that's your business too. I'll survive.
Sources
Camerer, Colin (1988). "Gifts as Economic Signals and Social Symbols". American Journal of Sociology, 94 (Supplement), pp. S180-S214. https://doi.org/10.1086/228946
Bekkers, René, and Pamala Wiepking (2011). "A Literature Review of Empirical Studies of Philanthropy: Eight Mechanisms That Drive Charitable Giving". Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly, 40(5), pp. 924-973. https://doi.org/10.1177/0899764010380927
Andreoni, James (1990). "Impure Altruism and Donations to Public Goods: A Theory of Warm-Glow Giving". The Economic Journal, 100(401), pp. 464-477. https://doi.org/10.2307/2234133
Federal Republic of Germany. Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch (German Civil Code), Section 516: "Begriff der Schenkung" (Definition of a gift). Official legal text, accessed on 12 November 2026. https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/bgb/__516.html